Daily suffering

   Our Daily Suffering

Paul was my baby, my one and only son. He was a true blessing to my family. I always wanted a son and God sent me an Angel, My son was my gentle giant. Everyday I wait for him to open my door and say mom I love you, I can’t wrap my mind around the fact that Paul will never open the door and say these words to me. Paul was a young man that any family would love to have, He was kind, gentle, always smiled and he loved his family, he always blew kisses and say I love you. He was apart of a great adult program and was loved and respect by his classmates, at his funeral the made him a banner that said “Paul”, all the patient signed it. My son loved bowling, going shopping, community trips, and his Family Reunion every memorial day, I will never get to meet his wife, or meet my grandchildren’s, I feel cheated. I was honored that God choose me to be his mother and I want my baby back, For nine month I carried him, he grew inside of me, It was a bond that I will never forget, I protected him all his life. Everyday his dad and I go to his gravesite, and we lay on that ground and we apologize to our son, at time I wish my body could go through that dirt and hug him one last time, I’m hurting… I miss my baby. His dad and I ask Paul for forgiveness, because we gave him this medication without being properly informed and we didn’t do the research because we trusted the doctor, Sudden death really? We would have never given Paul this medication. My baby Paul asked for help the day he took his last breath, and it was Dad help! This is killing my husband because he couldn’t save his one and only son. Now I ask you, close your eyes and picture your one and only son or child saying Mom or Dad help then fall unconscious never to wake up or open there eyes, then be told your son passed away. No, I will NEVER give up seeking justice for my son… God bless you for taking out time and reading this. We need help on this long journey of justice…. We want the world to know what is happening to Autistic adults with out voices, they can’t speak for them self and society throw them away in group homes or mental institution. I am advocating for change and I hope it start with you… Please help spread the word or if possible refer us to an attorney who cares about justice and change, and not about the money aspect. My one and only son is gone, he was innocent, sinless and he was mines. I will never rest until I receive justice for Paul.


2 responses

  1. Dear Tina, I am so sorry that you lost your only son! I too have lost my only son to a very dangerous drug. My heart feels your loss. We lost our son March 27th 2012. My husband also feels so very bad that he couldn’t save our son. We have so many things in common accept that our son was not autistic. Our son took an antidepressant that was just labeled as a sleeping pill. None of us knew that it was an antidepressant. These drugs are so bad. We have also made a web site. If you would like to read our story go to http://www.jonnyslaw.org. We also feel so alone in this whole process of being heard or getting someone to help us. We still have not filed with our states medical board or talked with the attorney general. When this first happened I couldn’t even think straight.I applaud you for doing so much work already to find some justice for your son. I know how disappointed you must feel when everyone rejects you. I think that is one of the reasons that we haven’t filed yet. Please keep up the good work you are doing and we will do the same. It would be nice to keep in contact. I will try to find you on face book or you can email me if you want to chat.
    Best Regards and Hugs to you and your husband!

    1. I’m so sorry about your lost. I been fighting for so long, and I will continue to fight. I accepted your friend request on facebook. And I will keep in contact with you. Thank you for sharing your story, my phone won’t allow me to see all of your site, so tomorrow when I go to the library I will look at Johnny’s story

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